A fitting mantra indeed. In fact, it will be a fitting epitaph because it does sum up my entire “trip”. From being born on Friday the 13th, leaving Canada at two, two step fathers, two half sisters, a dead mother, brutality and abuse, hunger, poverty, bullying, freedom, false freedom, sex, drugs, rock and roll, more drugs, still more drugs, not enough sex, more drugs, photography, theatre, still more drugs, alcohol, several ruined relationships, being a Deadhead, LSD, art, music, a marriage, step children, the cycle of abuse, infidelity, more sex, more drugs, less rock and roll, recovery, relapse, unhealthy women, attempted murder, running, recovering, renewing, receiving, loving, finding my muse, writing this paragraph….not necessarily in that order.
What A Long Strange Trip indeed.
How difficult it is to summarize the trip in one blog post. I will not even try. I will, however, give glimpses into the psyche of the intrepid cosmic traveler. Like this:
I am an introvert. I thought for the longest time that something was wrong with me and how I interacted with people. It’s not that I don’t like people. I kind of do. It’s that I find interaction with people so very draining. As pompous as that sounds, it is true for all introverts. We get our batteries charged through quiet contemplation, alone time, etc. Whilst the seventy five percent of society that are extroverts find that interaction and action with people is stimulating.
Then I read this book;
“The Introvert Advantage; How To Thrive In An Extrovert World” by Dr. Marti Olsen Laney. It explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become “too much.”
What a relief. I was not an oddball, I was not as anti-social as I was led to believe. I was just different. The funniest part of this book was the description of a habit introverts might have. I have it. It is, and I paraphrase, if I think it, I must have said it. There are times when I would say to my lovely muse, “I know I told you this or that. Or, I know we talked about this or that.” She, of course is adamant that we haven’t. Both of us thinking the other is suffering from post senility dementia. I now make sure we discuss, I affirm we have talked about something, hell, I may even begin to make notes. Meh…maybe not. The book has helped in small ways to be more understanding in my Innie – Outtie relationship. One of the many things I love about my muse is her outgoing and energetic personality, so I try not to stifle it.
There you have it, commentary on the introverted, slightly self absorbed, always personable, generally arrogant, very talented intrepid cosmic traveler.