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The next person that says, “I need this eh sap or a.s.a.p.” is going to get a dictionary upside the head followed by a brief summation of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and how it relates to my ASAP vs. their ASAP.

Measurements of various quantities are relative 
to the velocities of observers.   
A. Einstein

As soon as possible means I can get to it as soon as I get to it, taking into account the above quote from the aforementioned theory. The faster you move to the door the closer I get to being done with the project.

I don’t understand why NASA had to spend billions proving the theory. I though I just did a marvelous job right there.

The next item on the rantgenda:

ESP. Extrasensory Perception;

Extrasensory perception (ESP) involves reception of 
information not gained through the recognized 
physical senses but sensed with the mind.

or in my field of work the ability to understand any concept a client has just by looking at the image file they made. I’m so glad I was told I have this extraordinary ability. I wish I was told sooner so I could use the powers for nothing but good and save the world from demise at the hands of the ultra right wing conservative, bible thumping, racist, etc etc etc …Tea Baggers.

Why would any woman want to be a member of that party? Just asking. Can someone, anyone enlighten me. I am open minded enough to listen. Oh wait. I have ESP. I should already know this,  along with the fact that the shades in this image should be darker and although I (client) didn’t notice the errors, I (client) thought you (me) would pick up on them and fix anything I (client) missed.

Really? REALLY?

image coutesy of alwaysdrunk.com

image courtesy of alwaysdrunk.com

*This is fictional, any resemblance to persons alive or dead is purely coincidental. So don’t get all pissy.

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