It was, well, it was a bit of a surreal two week wait. Moments of complete acceptance and serenity to moments of fear and questions of mortality. I am, however, happy to say there were more of the serenity moments than the fearful. What a blessing that can be. I have done a great deal of work around acceptance and personal powerlessness. Especially when it comes to matters of health and well being or dealing with people. Having said that, I will not use that powerlessness as a cop out for turning a blind eye and informing my fellow human beings of insidious racist like movements that spring up on my front porch and threaten to consume, if not the continent, the entire globe.
I digress. Believe me, that is a future post.
Having come to terms with my own mortality in a rather serene mindset, I knew what had to be done. I actually decided it was going to be fun! I was and still am, going to make a video will. I will also make a video message for my after life party. Yea, I call it an after life party. Some people will be sad, some will celebrate my too brief a time here and still others will probably be of the “good riddance” mindset and only show up for the free food. I had a surprise in mind for them. More shall be revealed. I went about putting my affairs in order, in my head of course. I was preparing for the worst.
At the other end of the spectrum I was reflecting on my brief stay in the corporeal world and I would get a bit angry at the powers that be. I had/have a shit ton of stuff to do, don’t you know? I have to experience a great deal more in life. I have….More. I was afraid for the people around me, well, not so much afraid as concerned. A brief few knew and I didn’t want them to become overly concerned or morose but then I realised, it’s not my place to tell them how they should feel. Once I let them go to do their thing, I could do mine.
Oh you should see the video message I’m planning. Hey, someday, maybe you will. But, not any time soon. Nope the doctor walked in smiling and said everything looks good. Just a small polyp that was benign and a issue that is simply treated by a glass of Metamucil each morning.
Yep, you read that correctly, Metamucil, getting old is a bitch and benign is a great word to hear.